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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Another Year

Once again, Christmas has descended upon the Biggest Little Town in the North. And, now that it's come and gone, I'm prepared to get something off my chest.

I'm tired of Christmas.

Have you ever been at a party, and someone asks you to tell you a joke? You stammer, on the spot, until you finally muster up some pathetic laugh you heard when you were in grade school. That's the way I feel when I hear the following words:

What do you want for Christmas?

I am a simple person, whose needs don't stretch past money to pay the rent, plus a little more to party, and metres upon metres of snow. I never know what to get anyone myself, and when I'M the one asking I tend to get the "You'll think of something', or 'Whatever you get me will be fine', or something along the lines that equate to "If you don't KNOW what I want, then you're a bad friend". Consequently, I was the stereotype on Christmas Eve at 4pm doing 90% of my shopping.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love how the "holiday season" makes everyone that little bit nicer for 2 weeks out of the year (ok, maybe living in a place where the Christmas lights are up for months extends that period by about a month or so). And I totally understand the gift giving philosophy - reciprocity forges and maintains bonds of friendship. But I didn't exactly sign in for Christmas, it just engulfed me before I had developed self-awareness and my own identity. Now in December, I have happy memories of childhood Christmases and seek a desire to have the holiday I remember every year. These huge, opulent gifts we now give, especially to the kids, makes us lose sight of what this holiday is all about: to the believers, the celebration of the birth of the Saviour, to non-believers, a chance to reconnect with the people we care about. In my opinion, taking the time to sit down for a drink and a chat with someone you haven't done so in a while is just as valuable as an Xbox, or a new sweater. It shows you're thinking of them on a deeper level, and the conversation proves that you are just as interested in their life as you hope they are in yours. Kind of like Valentine's Day; why reserve one day out of the year to show your love to the one person that doesn't want to break you down, when you can do it every single day you're happy with him/her?

Maybe, if people took this approach more often, throughout the year, the world would be just that little bit less shitty.

Maybe I'm just rambling.

By The Way: I am obsessed with Boardwalk Empire, the new drama from HBO... Do whatever you can to watch it.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Coach the Leafs??? Are you High???

Behold, folks.

Proof that The Great White North is not as true, strong and free as it once was. Recently, the Canadian Senate has passed a law regarding marijuana; specifically, those surrounding growers. In BC, it was anything up to 200 plants would lead to a fine, and anything more could lead to jail time. Now, thanks to Stevie Hapless and his Conservatocracy, a mere 5 plants leads to a mandatory prison term. This is part of a larger Crime Bill, known as S-10 (check out the full story here.)

Now, I'm not a big smoker, and, objectively, I don't know enough about politics to really have my opinion gain any merit. What I do know, however, is the times when they are indeed a-changin'. Harper has had the War On Drugs torch handed to him via the Americans, and now that a softy Democrat is in power in the South (who has smoked pot! Shock! Horror!), he is the sole guardian of family values and the American Way. Were it not for a small geographical problem, he's probably Joe Republican's wet dream, right down to the dead eyes. These new laws are a perfect example of the Conservatives muscling in on something just because they can. And while I may not smoke, I know a fair few people that do (in Whistler! I know, right?).

Steve, if you're going to make this the new rule, at the very least have a provincial vote. A vote is kind of like a referendum, except you might not lose your job. Then, at least we have a say in your little toy chest. Look at it this way. You know who would vote for 200 plants over 5 plants? Stoners. That's who. The last thing they want to do is get up off the couch (Spongebob won't watch itself after all) and fill in a box. And for God's sake, don't dissolve Parliament again. It shows weakness.

In Other News, I have had possibly the best idea of the year. It was inspired by the lacklustre performance the Toronto Maple Leafs put in against the Ottawa Senators last week. Actually, in general recently now that I think of it. And by recently, I guess I mean the last 40 or so years. But, my idea.

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that there are 5 million Leafs fans in Canada (35mil population divided by 6 Canadian teams, with the extra 5 million either American fans or not interested in hockey at all.) There are 82 games in the regular season. If we could get a contest going, where ANYONE with an idea on what the team is doing wrong could put their name in a hat (a very big hat) to earn a chance to coach a game. The whole thing. Obviously Ron Wilson would be there to organize line changes, be angry, etc., but in terms of tactics and general gameplay, one armchair critic right at Wilson's side every game. A quick calculation of the above hypothetical stats tells you that there are almost 61000 potential coaches per game. I'll say that again. PER GAME! And let's face it, it's not like we have a whole lot to lose!

Anyway, that's my new idea. Tell me what you think.

Oh yeah, and it's snowing like crazy up here.


By The Way: I am totally into B-movies right now. I already extolled the virtues of Machete a few posts back, but Werewolf in a Women's Prison and Ninja Cheerleaders are exactly as awful - and as awesome - as they sound.